What do you want?

Okay so it's been some time since I have written in this blog and for the most part things have been calm but here we go again. So tell me, do you really know what you want? Is it more time or is it really about the money?

So often today young mothers who take their child's father to court for child support it's not about the support of the child but about the money for her. You know the ones who have on the latest outfits yet their children are wearing rags. Or the ones who don't have a job but go to the nail salon every week (who's paying?) Child support is for the support of the child. If you are getting child support you should not be asking the father for material things or things that the child support payment should be taking care of. If you want the child to have the latest sneakers (that they will quickly grow oout of), use the child support. If you want to put the child in private school, use the child support. Does the child need milk, use the child support. Do you get the theme?

Now on the other hand, if you want the father to spend quality time with the child, taking him to court for child support is not the way to do it. Resentments build, anger develop, and the child suffers in the end. I remember when I took my child's father to court for child support but what I really wanted was for him to spend time with our child. The result was low support payments (that were usually in arrears), an angry father (who did not want to be around me so did not come around at all), a disappointed mother ( I did not get what I wanted on either front),....and a child who suffered because of it.

Here is my suggestion: take some time alone, without external influences, and know exactly what you want because doing things with wrong motives is not the way to achieve it. Look at how your child shines when he or she are around their father. Let me leave you with one question, will the child care in the end how much money was spent or how much time was spent? think of you own experience because it really is the best teacher.